"Depressed girlfriend ... Need advice ... Please ... "

http://www.everydayhealth.com/CS/forums/361030/ShowThread.aspx
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Denied his flowers, told him that it was over, verbally abused him, etc.
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as I normally do during my "spells"
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If her depression alone causes your fiance to say and do things that she wouldn't normally so, it more than likely has nothing at all to with you. Depression can cause people to think (and SPEAK) irrationally
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Don't take anything too personally, your the convenient target.
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For me, saying "I love you" during this time only makes me more depressed.
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AlitaW
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... you should see if this kind of behavior is a habit with this girlfriend before you marry her.

If you feel you can not take this now it will probably only be worse when you are married to her and start to feel trapped by her misery.

She seems to have a very unhealthy relationship with her family and I strongly suggest that she seek some type of counseling to free her from these obligations she has inflicted upon herself. You too may end up a slave to her family if you become married and that will only make you miserable.

If she is willing to get some pre-marital counseling with you that would be a great opportunity to discuss these concerns that you have, allow her to express her concerns and have an objective 3rd party provide some insight into your relationship and ways for both of you to bring what is needed into your marriage to make it work.

Sometimes it is wise to move far away from the in-laws until the married couple can establish and strengthen their relationship.

In my opinion it would be awful to be stuck in a marriage where one spouse is basically married to their parents instead their spouse !
StrawberryShortcake
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First of all I would like to ask if you think she is seriously depressed enough to hurt herself ?

... She has put her life (as she sees it) as taking care of her parents (giving them a large portion of her income) and then the other part is being a work-a-holic. Thereby not having anytime for herself....which would include you. It really isn't about you, it's about her and how she feels about herself. It becomes worse during her more depressed states. ... This is about her and her depression and lowered self-esteem.

It is very difficult to be in such a relationship but it isn't impossible !! You've got to make sure you are not "feeding into" her as well. ...

... coping with this kind of behavior because when you don't know how to work with it, it will also bring you down. Your life cannot be affected by her depression as it wouldn't be of help to her or to you.
jeanne19622008
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