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Victim--(Playing the "Victim" Role)
Don't try to stop playing it. Don't do anything about it. Just simply see it. ... I don't try to stop it; I just say, "I'm playing the victim role," and let it roll. ...
www.marshasummers.com/innerman/victim.htm - Cached
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http://www.marshasummers.com/innerman/victim.htm
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One of the emotions is self-pity. Oh, pity poor me. "I've done this and I've done that and I've done everything; and nobody else has done anything for me."
A woman told me one time that the most pleasant day of her life was when she day-dreamed that she saw herself in her casket and all the family around mourning. They realized how much they missed her. I said "Well what you were doing was being dead, but being alive at the same time." That kind of upset her, so I shut up. She liked her self pity. She loved to feel sorry for herself; and so she wanted to see everybody else feeling sorry for her.
We find the not "I"s getting us angry and all these other emotions. We can observe very carefully what the not "I's" do. They want you to feel like you are a VICTIM--a victim of all these people who didn't understand you. Is that about right?
(Could be.)
Of course, you haven't felt it.
So the major thing that the not "I"s do is get you to feel like you are a victim. They do that in strange ways. Sometimes they get you angry; but you only get angry when you feel you've been a victim. Sometimes they get you frightened; and the only way you're frightened is that you're fearful of being a victim somewhere.
So if we learn to observe these not "I"s giving us this "victim feeling", and we can look at it real carefully and say, "I'm playing the victim role." That's why I'm feeling so lousy. Just "I'm playing the victim role."
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Good. Usually you weren't paying attention to it. You probably played it a lot more than you thought.
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So we would set out to tell ourselves--say to myself, "I'm playing the victim role." Everytime we see it, we're going to say, "I'm playing the victim role." That's when you're feeling angry, self-pity and all the other emotions. It's just a way to play the victim role.
So if you said to yourself, "I'm playing the victim role," every time you saw this thing going on; I think you'd find that you basically weren't playing the victim role any more. You could see that it's not worth it. It's not worth it. So you'd see you were playing the victim role. Don't try to stop playing it. Don't do anything about it. Just simply see it. That's called "self-knowing" among other things.
I'm playing the victim role. You'll find that in about a week or ten days, I don't know; but approximately a week, you'll find you quit playing that role. That leaves you down to a natural human being. You don't have to find something to replace it--it already does.
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(What about the people around you?)
You're not a victim of people now, you're just playing "the victim role."
(Will this affect the other people you're around?)
People suddenly get awful nice; you likely affected them with your [exercise]. I don't know, I think people were always nice, we just accused them by playing the victim role. At any rate, everything works pretty smooth, ok ?
(They were just being themselves.)
Whatever they are doing, they didn't victimize you. They didn't even have you in mind. They were doing their thing. There's no reason to be concerned with anybody else.
(If you're in an environment and somebody is critical; you can choose to absorb the criticism or let it roll off.)
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Yeh, I get away from people who are obnoxious--it's convenient and easy. It's no use getting all aggitated and trying to defend yourself against them or anything. You just say, "I'm playing the victim role." Let it roll--don't do a thing--just report what you're doing.
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We're recognizing them. That's what we want to do--not stop it. If you stop it with "will power", it will be back faster than you can stop it. You're stopping it by seeing what you're doing. I'm playing this role. There is a lady that says she is playing it deliberately. Most of us don't play it deliberately--we do it mechanically. She has it down to such an art that she can play it deliberately. Right hon ?
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When you say it to your conscious awareness enough times; it says "hey, this is no joke--this is not any worthwhile thing" and quits. So don't try to quit, just say "I'm playing the victim role."
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(If you're in this environment and everybody is playing "We are the victims," and I see that they're doing it and don't want to join in with this; what can I do about that. I can't change them.)
You have no concern to.
(I can't distract them.)
No reason to. Let them go ahead with their game.
(And just….)
Ignore it. If you don't feel you're a victim, don't go along with it, ok?
(If you have expectations for someone and they don't live up to those expectations……)
Oh, you're a victim "of the first water" then. You're responsible for the behavior of everybody in the world; and they're not doing it. You're playing the ultimate victim role then. It's kind of funny isn't it.
(I have a friend that wanted me to believe she was a victim.)
If a person has gotten themselves worked into a good "victim" point, they don't want it disturbed, honey. If in your conversation she gives up the victim role in that situation; I'll guarantee she'll have another way to express the "victim" role tomorrow.
(If we do possibly become more aware; how does this affect our relationship with people who are less aware.)
Well, we simply see that they are less aware, understand them and go on our way. We can get along with them just beautifully.
(It's that easy?)
Oh yes.
(We're self aware, hopefully; but we can see other people living in a conditioned state.)
Living in an illusion, ok? So you get along with them. We have a little principle we call agape. We see a person and we know they are doing what they feel is right, proper, or justifiable for the situation. That's what I do. I do what I feel is right, proper, or justifiable in every situation, so how could I blame anybody else for doing what I'm doing. Se we can get along with people just fine.
(You once mentioned two things to remember, what were they?)
Don't ever see anyone as a victim, and don't ever treat anybody as a victim. No matter what kind of shape a person is in, I refuse to see them as a victim. I see they got themselves in "it" or "it" just happened and let's get out.
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